Feeling Lucky

So, one of the questions I've already been asked is "how long have you thought you were trans". The trouble is I don't have a great answer. Firstly, childhood memories are very suspect - people tend to edit them to fit a narrative of themselves, and I'm no different. My sister and I have completely different memories of similar events. Secondly, I was lacking in a vocabulary to express any of this, so my thoughts were all over the place.
I have always felt like an outsider.
I know that I was "borrowing" my Mum's and my sister's clothes from around the age of 11. I also knew it was wrong. I got very good at hiding things (well, I got moderately good at hiding things - stuff did get found from time to time).
I've been "out" as at least a crossdresser to all of my partners, with varying degrees of acceptance. I don't think, though, that I ever really articulated what was going on in my head. How much it was "me as a woman" being allowed to surface only sometimes, and how consistent my internal narrative was.
So, now I've come out to my current partner not just as a crossdresser, but as trans. And we've talked (a lot) and decided to try the transition. Kind of while there's still time, but it's not that simple (there's always time). And the thought of it all fills me with joy. These things that I've seen other people go through - and I know there are tougher times ahead - can be part of my life. I've been jealous... envious. And now it's my turn. Fingers crossed.

First Post

Today, I booked at GP's appointment for Wednesday. I was confronted with a box for "Appointment Reason". And I wrote "Gender identity issues" into it.

I've also made contact with GenderGP. That's a private practice specialising in gender issues.

My name is Zoë, and I'm a transwoman just beginning a process.